Self-Reflection: How Much Does Intention Really Matter?

It’s been four months since I wrote something for myself. Will I ever end up doing anything with this abstract writing? I somehow doubt it… But thinking that it might end up as a book someday is honestly the only reason I remember to come back to it.

Speaking seems easier for me. And healthy dialogue with good people comes even easier.  But to write these things down begs the question. What is the reason I come back to write down as much of my inner dialogue as possible?

So many attachments, all much-needed dualness, to participate in this reality as a human being. To find the truest intention within is a challenging task because of this.

Most days, I feel, What’s the point? And a long list of reasons why I don’t feel like writing comes up. 

Some days I feel, This needs to be documented. And I write like a maniac in hopes of eventually publishing a moment of my many crazy experiences one day. 

That one is coming from a place of wanting to be seen, recognized, and understood, and that feels really fucking good. But that hasn’t happened in a while.

To want to be seen, recognized, and understood could be understood completely differently through all the 8 billion perspectives we have imprisoned here. You can look at it as self-worship, or you can choose to see it from a place of Self-Love, Soul Nourishment, and Self-Reflection. 

Certainly, many will choose not to look at it at all. And that choice is completely unconscious. 

To write from the heart is to write with a clear understanding of the intention within. 

When I’m clear with what is vibrating inside me, words just come flowing out. 

When I’m writing from a place of needing to, rather than wanting to, I’m still enjoying the process of writing, but the message seems to be bland. Or is that just a judgmental opinion of myself and of my creation?

Perhaps, most of what we see being published in the world today is also just that… bland…?

To find myself in this place of ‘wanting to’ write, I find it to be quite a task for my awareness.

I struggle to resonate with only one perspective of the want. 

Therefore, it makes it quite challenging to pinpoint the intention that is vibrating within. 

But does it even matter to know the intention behind every thought? Perhaps it’s the only thing that actually does matter…? 

Thought is illusion. Intention is a feeling in the physical body. 

But maybe thought is just as much of a vibration as is feeling, even though it is an illusion. 

From a certain point of view, even physical feeling will be seen and recognized as an illusion.